The End... And The Beginning...

I sit here in the “Big Room” of the 2017 National Youth Workers Convention and stare at the screen.  

It’s over.  

Many of the youth workers have left.  Some are still lingering, laughing, enjoying the moment and connecting, refusing to go home.  

I stare at the blank screen.  

It’s a weird feeling that I am feeling.  It’s hard to quantify but I feel like I need to.  

When I got into youth work nearly 20 years ago, I did so because I felt a call from God and a passion to reach young people with the message of the gospel. I still feel called.  I am still passionate about young people and sharing the Good News of Jesus with them.  

But today, I head in a different direction from most of my friends and colleagues.

Many of those friends were in Memphis this weekend; others span the country and the globe.  I feel that God has called me in a new direction with my ministry focus.  It’s a direction that I’m excited about and passionate about and yet there is a weird feeling in my gut.  

For 20 years, this has been my tribe, my people.  But that’s been changing over the past 4 months and I have felt that this weekend.  The jokes and the faces here are familiar, comfortable, enjoyable.  Yet, I feel restless in this tribe.  I’m between two worlds.  The world I have known and the unknown world that I am being called to.  

While I want to go… 

There are parts of me that want to stay… 

And so I sit.  

It’s over.

And I know when I get up and walk out of this room in this convention center, it will truly be over.  The friendships remain.  The faces will stay known but yet will become somewhat less familiar, less family, less comfortable.  

I am confident of God’s calling.  

I am comfortable with where God is leading me and my ministry.

I am excited about what God is doing in me and through me.  

And yet, I sit. 

This is truly an end.  A victory lap of connection with old friends to share common jokes and high fives and hearty hugs.  

This is truly a beginning. I don’t yet know the terrain of this new arena.  But soon I will.  

When I got into youth work, I prayed this day would never come but today it has.  

And while I had feared this day, I can truly say that it is good.  

Thank you Father.  Thank you friends.  Thank you to all of those who have invested in me as a youth worker.  The countless seminars, speakers, blogs, podcasts, books, coffees.  I am forever indebted to you and your wisdom and kindness.  

And as I look back over the faces in my mind of nearly 20 years of youth work I can say, it has been worth it.

It’s over.  

And as I get up and walk out of this room, pass out a few more high fives and hugs, it is the end.  

And it is only the beginning.  

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