A little bit of me died...

A Little Bit of Me “Died” Tonight…

At 7:25 pm, I walked out of Jeff and Megan O’Neal’s house. Jeff is one of our middle school leaders. He and his family are hosting our middle school small groups this school year. Tonight was the first night of this school year’s small groups. Our middle schoolers met at the O’Neals’ while our high schoolers met about 4 miles away at another house.

But tonight… I’m not leading a group.

Instead, I am leaving our Tuesday night small group program (5 groups in all) in the very capable hands of two high school leaders and three middle school leaders. I have all the confidence in the world in Mike, Becky, Candy, Mark and Kathy. They are incredible leaders. They have an incredible heart for students. I could see it in their eyes tonight as they gathered.

But I “died” a little bit tonight as I walked out that door. You see; I want to be there with those students. I want to hang with them… I want to laugh with them… I want to lead them… all of them. And that’s not healthy.

Even though, it was painful to turn those groups loose without “my presence,” it is healthy. It’s healthy for the ministry to be bigger than me. It’s healthy for these small groups to grow bigger than what I can handle personally. It’s healthy for me to turn loose five groups of students with five leaders who love them and have committed to take care of them and pastor them for this school year. “Why is it healthy?” you ask.

It’s healthy because our student ministry needs to be bigger and broader than I am and what I can handle. I’m all for health. Health is… healthy. It’s healthy for me to get out of the bottle neck and allow our groups to do something awesome without my hand in it, on it or holding it back. It will be healthy for Mike, Becky, Candy, Mark and Kathy to lead their group as the Holy Spirit leads. It will be incredible to see what God does through these groups as these awesome, incredible youth workers begin to care for their students.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard for me. I’m an in-the-trenches-kinda-guy… I want to be in there with the students. This is the first time since I’ve been here in three years that I haven’t been in there with the students… especially in small groups.

This isn’t a whining session. I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me. I’m sharing part of my struggle. Healthy youth ministry can’t be dependent on one person. Healthy youth ministry is dependent on a lot of people using their gifts to God’s glory.

Health is good… hard... but healthy… and necessary.

Jim